The Real Reason I Stopped Leading With Human Design
I have shied away from leading with Human Design because I wanted to make it practical, useful and behaviour first. Or so I told myself for the best part of a year.
When I was getting nowhere fast, I sat with it, and what came up was something that was present in month one but that I chose to ignore.
When I got into Human Design, as much as my sacral went crazy and I loved learning all about it, there was resistance. I didn't feel it was a proper profession, let alone an actual job, so I tried to organise my external world to fit this belief. I leaned into what felt comfortable and true for me which was removing a woo aspect to legitimise the modality in my mind.
The cost? I lost the most valuable aspect of who I am, my unique perspective and interpretation of Human Design. Instead, I started to merge into the general wellness space and struggled to market myself. I got so wound up in knots that I started to just lead with my ideal client, and that was completely devoid of anything Human Design just behaviour-focused content.
I went away in May, and I had decided not to work on any content and just enjoy the family holiday for what it was on the first two days. That was the opening that I needed. That decision allowed me to do something I hadn't done in months feel. I was so busy optimising every second, working full time and having a 3-year-old, that by the time I went to bed there was no processing time, just sleep.
That wall of stillness allowed me to see this, and like a wave, all the exhaustion I refused to acknowledge came over me.
At first I was angry it was even there. My initial reaction was to externalise it I blamed my husband for not giving me the time to feel. How selfish of him, I thought.
Then I realised it was all my own choices all the things I had said yes to when I was empty. That's a choice.
From here I learnt that spaciousness is absolutely necessary for me to function. The more I gave, the more insights I discovered. Back to the content insight, lol.
When I sat with it, I realised that the belief I initially held 12 months ago hadn't actually resolved it had been quietly running the show in the background. The reason I wasn't leading with Human Design had nothing to do with wanting to make it practical. I was still embarrassed about the modality and not making myself visible.
That conditioned belief was responsible for my lack of business growth in a 12-month period. But here's what it did give me, which is more powerful than any sale could have been:
It allowed me to see and break a pattern in real time
It allowed me to go deep within to understand my why
It reminded me how subtle, yet powerful, conditioning can be
It reminded me that answers rarely lie on the surface
It allowed me to witness my own evolution of self
This is why I love misalignment so much. Things aren't just going wrong — it's revealing something that success would never have shown you.For 12 months, I had an explanation ready it wasn't the real one. My free guided audio, One Decision At A Time, walks you through recalling your own good and bad decisions and noticing how your body responded to each so you can start catching your own quiet conditioning before it costs you a year.
