A Week of Burnout That I Ignored for the Second Time

I burned out twice in two months. As a Human Design Generator, I genuinely didn't think that was possible.

As a Human Design Coach, I spend so much time helping other people recognise the patterns in their lives that I almost missed one unfolding in my own. When I found myself unable to get out of bed for the second time in eight weeks, I knew I hadn't just overworked. I'd missed a pattern.

So how did I get here? Well, it won't surprise you to know that I was in misalignment again. I've really started to realise that misalignment is a key part of life. When I reflect on my profile as 6/2, and knowing that my conscious Mercury is in Gate 60 and my incarnation cross is the Left Angle of Obstruction, I think it's fair to say that things going wrong, and getting the wisdom from them, is a key part of my life. I've learnt to accept that rather than fighting against the tide.

Anyway, back to misalignment! I've noticed that whenever misalignment shows up for me, it's never random — there's always a pattern that has persisted before, but the expression is different each time. That's exactly how I got stung by burnout twice in the space of 2 months.

Because the expression isn't the same, you think you have a handle on it, when you haven't dealt with the underlying pattern at play. So the misalignment repeats over and over again, until you deal with the pattern at play.

Burnout #1: When Space Finally Let Me Feel

The first time, I was on a family holiday with my son and husband, and I was in the last two weeks of a brand accelerator I was doing to try and really understand my positioning as a personal brand and how on earth to grow my business online. I told myself for the first two days I wouldn't do any business work — just be present with my family, because after all, it was a family holiday!

Those two days of spaciousness did something so profound I couldn't quite believe it. Since the beginning of the year I had been in this high gear of optimisation, to the point where every second was accounted for, leaving no space to feel. I would literally wake up with my son, get him ready for nursery, workout, and log on to do my day job at 7:30. Then I would log off at 5pm, whilst my husband is doing the nursery pick up, I'm cooking dinner. My son is home around 5:30pm, we spend some time together after we have dinner. Then I bath him and put him to bed, and it's already 7:30pm. By 8pm, after washing my face and brushing my teeth ready for bed, I would then open my laptop, film some reels and content until 10pm, and straight to sleep.

As you can see, there was barely any time to process or feel.

So when I had that time where nothing was occupying my time, I began to feel what had been building up in the last few months — tiredness, fatigue, exhaustion. My eyes felt so heavy, and the physical tiredness just kicked my arse. I immediately externalised. It was everyone else's fault why I felt tired — they hadn't given me the time to rest.

Then came the wisdom, which always follows for me during a period of misalignment. This wasn't true. I had been too busy — I, nobody else, hadn't given myself any time to feel.

That opened my eyes up, and I prioritised my rest and need for space in the coming weeks, which worked well, or so I thought.

Burnout #2: When Growth Became the Goal

Fast forward another 7 weeks down the line, and here I am again, doing the same shit in a slightly different way.

This time it was focusing on growing my business via Instagram. I had gone from creating 3 reels per week to 5, with literally zero return. No new followers, no increase in reach, nada. All I had to show for it was another round of burnout.

This one hit differently. This was the first time in real time as a generator I felt the physical lag and tiredness. It was so obvious that my husband said I could rest today, stay in bed. I would normally cap my rest and do some content creation or planning. I couldn't move from the bed. I just wanted to sleep.

That is when I realised two very important things. One — generators burn out, we just experience it differently to our non-sacral beings. First, we build the frustration, and if your life looks remotely like mine, you don't feel it or see it for what it is. You convince yourself the fix is one more adjustment away, and you fall victim to the very thing you're here to do — build and create.

Second, the pattern won't break if you don't get to the root cause, it will keep showing up in a different form. So what was the pattern? For me it was simple: get back to the thing that actually brings me joy, which for me is Human Design. I had become so focused on trying to increase the visibility of my business that I became completely detached from it. I was no longer creating because I enjoyed it, I was doing it because I thought I had to grow.

I became more committed to growing my business than enjoying my business.

So, I decided to drop back to 3 reels instead of 5, and I stopped trying to prove my worth to a computer. I gave myself spaciousness, introspection and curiosity to really find my way back home. I remembered how much I enjoyed my podcast, but stopped because time pressures meant I had to shift the focus to growing my business. I was tired of trying to cram my depth into 30-second soundbites, I wanted to connect and just talk freely to whoever wanted to listen to it. So that's what I did — after 8 months of not posting on Substack or an episode of my podcast, I sat down the way I used to and I just talked. It felt like I was offloading to a friend. I was instantly reminded of the ease I feel when I talk, it just comes so naturally to me.

That allowed me to feel joy again as a generator.

Ironically, the moment I stopped forcing growth, Substack finally started to grow. My first post back brought four new subscribers, after months of barely moving. You couldn't write it.

That was confirmation to me that the shift wasn't a nice-to-have — it was necessary. If things are starting to feel like hard work, that's usually a sign something is off.

Generators, we do get frustrated, but that's not where it ends if you are so disconnected from your body's signals like I was. Burnout is the only destination waiting for you.

Looking back, burnout wasn't the lesson. Burnout was simply the consequence of ignoring frustration for too long. The real lesson was remembering why I started this work in the first place.

If you're feeling stuck in your life and no longer feel excited about what you do, my free audio guide, One Decision At A Time, is a good place to start.